Sniff a Crayon

Q: Hello Bob. My dilemma is around the volume level in which my manager speaks. His office is right next to my cubicle and his barking is so loud that I cannot concentrate on anything else. During meetings with him, I actually get headaches from his voice. He barks out commands and questions as if we were in bootcamp. Am I doomed?

A: My first thought was the obvious–bring Bose, noise-canceling headphones into the office as both a practical solution and a hint to your manager, but then I thought that is not really solving the problem. You would end up with complaints from other co- workers, customers and family members whose calls you would never hear. I know of a device, first hand, that might prove more useful. If you go to PetSmart or Petco, you can purchase a device that emits a loud ultrasonic noise every time a dog or person barks. You can place this device right outside his door and in no time, he will link his loud tone to the awful sound he hears after. It worked for me!

Bob Barker writes a regular column in Gina Schreck’s RANDOM THOUGHTS newsletter. He lives with the Schreck family in Littleton Colorado and loves to get email at Bob@Achievewithpinnacle.com

Ask people if they are happy and most people will tell you yes. But when you see a truly happy person, you don’t have to ask do you? You can see it on their face and you can hear it in the language they use. They make comments like, “Good morning, how are you on this fine day?” or “It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood isn’t it?” These are the folks who, when approached with the standard (I really don’t care but I should ask anyway) “How are you?” their reply would most likely be something like, “I am fantastic!” or “I am so glad you asked! I am feeling great this morning, how about you?” Only to be met with a look of “Uhhhhh, I wasn’t ready for that response.”

There is something very attractive about happy people. Call it charm. Call it charisma, but it draws people in just a little. Perhaps we are drawn in like a crowd is drawn into a freak show to see the two-headed cow. It is something so rare these days that we have to step a little closer to see what’s really going on.

There are quite a few studies that have been done over the years that have shown that we begin feeling happier, if we use “happier language.” If you say you are feeling FANTASTIC, you actually start feeling FANTASTIC! If you say you are “just fine” well…you will be. I find it interesting to listen to people and how they respond to that question, “How are you today?” Here are some of the responses you are likely to hear on a Monday morning:

“I’m here aren’t I?”
“It’s Monday!”
“I’m breathing”
“I’m above ground”

WOW! Don’t you just want to hang around them all day?

Now come Wednesday, you start to hear a glimmer of hope in the responses:

“It’s hump day!”
“I’m half way through the week.”
“A little better than I was two days ago, but only half as good as I’ll be in another two days”
“I’m hanging in there.”

(My favorite response for a Wednesday morning by an Eeyore man named Dave, that we used to see a few times a week), “Hanging by a thread.” (And he looked like it too.)
But Friday comes and you hear:
“Thank God it’s Friday!”
“I made it through the week.”

Watch your language. Not only does it repel people or attract people, it affects how you actually feel. Be aware of the words you choose. Make a commitment to try a few of these words this week:

“I’m fabulous!
“I feel exuberant!”
“I feel succulent!”

Through an email exchange with a woman last week, she ended one of her emails with “Dazzling!” I love that.
I can’t wait to meet her. I’m sure she has charisma!

Willie is a security guard at the entrance of our neighborhood. We call him Sergeant. He works from six in the morning until two in the afternoon four days a week, just sitting in a little guard station checking to be sure anyone without proper identification stops to check in with him. A pretty boring job, by most standards. There are several different guards working this post throughout the week, but Willie is special. As you drive up to the guard house, Willie throws a great smile and a big salute to you.

Our girls love to roll down the window and give a big salute right back to Willie, which automatically makes him roar with a jolly laugh, “Ho Ho Ho, look at that salute!” It’s a real treat if you are behind the school bus when the kids all put down the windows and salute together. This makes Willie jump up, salute and laugh even harder.

After driving into our neighborhood, behind another driver who rolled his window down and exchanged mutual salutes with Willie, I heard the driver let out a great belly laugh and it dawned on me the impact that Willie had on our little neighborhood. I stopped and asked him if I could schedule a time to sit down for a cup of coffee and interview him. I knew he had to have some interesting stories to tell and I wanted to hear the secret of his joyful attitude. He graciously accepted.

What I learned was so much more Willie grew up in the south during the turbulent 60’s and 70’s. As a black man he had been tormented by the Klu Klux Klan. He had been chased down like a wild animal being hunted. He was once hung from a tree until one of the Klansman decided to let him go for future “hunting.” He watched as his father’s home was burned to the ground. He joined the United States Marines and taught others how to box. On and on, his amazing story unfolded before me. He had lived a thousand lives and experienced such horrific acts of cruelty and yet he was filled with so much joy that it spilled out onto every person in our little community and beyond.

Willie said he loves his job. His secret? He said he looks forward to giving out smiles everyday! What a beautiful legacy of joy!

I was recently speaking at the gigantic, Texan Gaylord Hotel in Grapevine Texas, and during some free time, I decided to take the hotel shuttle over to the local mall (what’s a girl to do in her free time?). There were ten or twelve of us waiting for the shuttle and this group seemed a bit grumpy. One woman was complaining that it was too hot, while another griped that the last conference speaker droned on ten minutes longer than he should have. (Thank goodness it wasn’t me.) I stood there, a silent observer of their gripey and grumbling mood.

As we boarded the trolley, the driver called out, “Welcome aboard. Isn’t it a gorgeous day in Texas?” I perked up, and answered, “It sure is.” As everyone took their seats, he introduced himself as, “Mr. Q the happy trolley driver.” And he was. He chirped out facts about the Texas Gaylord and the nearby Lake Grapevine. Seven or eight minutes later we were at the mall. As I stepped off the bus, I thanked Mr. Q for spreading happiness and told him that he was the best trolley driver the great state of Texas could ever find, and then I handed him a tip. Several of the other passengers did the same as they got off and stepped into the cool air conditioning of the mall.

The interesting part was how his attitude had transformed that group. They were all smiling, laughing and commenting on Mr. Q and his infectious happiness. He had spread a little pixie dust on this grumpy group and don’t you know that Mr. Q had to be feeling pretty good himself as he drove back to the hotel for another group of grumblers.

Are you spreading a little pixie dust as you interact with people or is there a sigh of relief after you are gone? I always say we leave a little of ourselves—good or bad—wherever we go. What will people say about you when you are gone? What legacy are you leaving?

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